Now in the discussions with experts and parents, it is possible to meet
two extreme points of view regarding the questions of the socialization of children. The
first position is connected with the desire to structure the children's life as
much as possible (school, different sections, the strict house
control including games and play). Owing to it, the child has less time to be "idle". The second tendency is to give "full" freedom to children: to enable them to play, to remove estimations and tests at schools, even to remove lessons as the structured
activity. Owing to it, the child will not feel
any pressure.
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Savitsky K.A. 'Dissonance". |
In the given post I would like to consider the results of the researches
which can illustrate the influence of the first tendency on the children and show the influence of this tendency from the point of view of small respondents. For this purpose, I
shall address to the questionnaires of the parents, and also to the interviews of the children.
The interest of parents in children’s success in life does not cause any
doubts. According to the results of one of
my researches, more than 70 % of parents have told that it is necessary to find «as much as possible time» for their children. Some answers sounded as
follows: «The more - the better », «24 hours per day ». However, if we look at the
answers of the parents we will see the attributes of hypertrusteeship, i.e. the constant desire to supervise the child.
How is the hypertrusteeship reflected in the interviews of the children? Certainly, many children have drawn the happiest events in their
lives which took place in their families, with mum, daddy and other relatives. But there are also moments which can provoke us to think. According to the results of the test of Rosenzweig (when the children are shown pictures
with various conflict situations and it is necessary to tell what they would do
if they were the represented heroes), the children have shown the readiness to
solve problems independently and to show the initiative in the relationships with peers. But, as soon as there was an adult in the represented picture, the children
began to demand the decision of the problem from the adult, or they concerned the situation as due, or they fixed on the problem, i.e. wished to
solve nothing. It is interesting, the number of interviews with the boys when they
searched for justifying circumstances for their acts increased almost in four times when there were the adults in the represented situations.
Also, it is necessary to remember, that interdictions of adults can also
influence how children perceive this or that game. Preschool children often quote the statements of parents and other
adults why they did not play any games, why it was not recommended to them. But play and games are «good risks » for children, the opportunity to feel the forces and borders and the constant control and
interdictions do not support the "creative" discovery of space.
Not only interdictions but also the habits of adults influence how
children perceive the reality and what they do. For example, the daddy often plays computer
games, while the child is standing near, seeing what is on the screen, experiencing and
identifying the situation.
Summing up the said above: the parents say that that the hypertrusteeship
is not the desire to supervise the child, it's the wish to be near the
child, to feel an emotional attachment, etc. In the reality, it often turns into
the constant control which has the specificity.
Probably, it is important, how to be present in the life of the child. I will write about it in the following post: "Freedom or Lonelinnes"?
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